Kill five minutes....

Can you tell who's who? (Heads up: There's some spicy language on this thing.)

I'm mesmerized... by Esteban??!!

God help me, but I am!

Have you ever watched this guy push his guitars of questionable quality? It's a scene! Just two hours ago, I sat absorbed in wild wonder as he moved almost 12,000 units of his newest guitar - a guitar designed as a tribute piece to a 50's Chevy Bel-Air, with real melamine backboards, mother-of-pearl inlays on the guitar's neck, a 20 DVD lesson set, a set of special Esteban guitar picks...

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, how the Hell does he convince people to buy this?!

Look, I got nothing against the guy. I admit a leather Zoro hat on a white guy doesn't fool me - We know he was born Steve, NOT Esteban. And, the Man in Black thing worked better for Johnny Cash. But, hey, criticisms aside, this guy can push product. I highly recommend watching him work to anybody in our profession. It's a sight to behold.

They say Rasputin had a way of looking at people that left them naked before his influence. I fear Esteban has learned that look.

Put HSN and QVC on your cable favorites list and just cruise by every now and then, see if you catch him on-air. I dare you to try and watch for just five minutes. IT CAN'T BE DONE!

Team Dynamic Lessons from Geese

Someone shared these lessons with me recently. They're pretty interesting - although I admit I usually don't like these kinds of platitudes. I think there's something to take away from this.

What's wrong with us?

(read this out loud in your best Andy Rooney)
Have you ever wondered what's wrong with us? What it is about our personalities that draws us to this profession? I've been doing that a lot lately, and I've come up with some theories - some flattering, some not. So, strap in, it's about to get uncomfortable.

Mascohism
Let's start with the unpleasant, almost abusive, qualities of what we do.

It all starts the day you get hired. "Everybody here just loves your reel. The writing is sublime, the edits are really clean and cool, and it's obvious you know how to put butts in the seat. We'd love to have you join the team for less than we would pay a fry cook at McDonald's - whaddayasay?"

Then, you start meeting the happy workers. The editor who reminds you of Milton from Office Space. The "Senior/Executive Producer" who's suddenly threatened by your arrival. The news producer who "really gets promotion" but treats you with just enough hostility to prove otherwise. Yeah, this is gonna be great.

When the GM finally comes around to tell you that he needs you to come up wtih something brilliant because times are tough, the mental burden is just icing on the cake.

Weekends lost in edit booths because of last minute changes. Birthdays ruined by clients who didn't tell you they tweaked their logos when you weren't looking. Cigarettes inhaled because a bad story led to a bad promo, and, ultimately, a bad rating - but somehow it's your fault. Ah, good times...

Why do we put up with it? Masochism seems too easy an answer.

Character Deficiencies
"High expectations. Low commitment levels." (I hereby lay claim to that phrase. And I expect royalty payments!)

But don't those 5 words say it all about us? We want to set the world on fire, 30 seconds at a time. Do some really great work, and then move on to the next one. Is it any wonder so many of us have a mental crutch of some kind - drink, women/men, food, thrills, etc. Anything that will help get us through to the next big expectation.

It's also why so many of us have a hard time in relationships. God bless any poor soul who falls in love with a "Creative". Talking shop all the time, missing your kid's recital, being occassionally mentally absent becuase you're tossing around an idea and don't realize it.

And yet these failings can be considered almost endearing when measured against those of us who exhibit far more disappointing traits:

- The Fickle: "I love working with you (until I don't)."

- The Cowardly: "I've got your back (until it puts mine at risk)."

- The Lazy: "Sure, I could come up with another idea, but they're gonna shoot that one down, too, so forget it."

- The Obsessive: "I know this hits air in five minutes, but could we skip this hit? I know I can get this edit right..."

Thankfully, we have some redeeming qualities that mask the shortcomings - we tend to be a fun, gregarious bunch. But there's clearly a defect in our personalities that makes this career a proper fit for us.

Now, in our defense....

High expectations aren't a bad thing, but you know that. The really great part is when we extend those high expectations beyond the work.

"To have high expectations of others is to have faith in them. It is an expression of optimism and hope in the capacities of another. It is an expression of the connection between people and is experienced as support." - Peter Block

Anybody who's worked on a solid team will testify to that. The necessities of what we do require high expectations of others. No one producer is ever responsible for a great spot, but one usually is to blame for a bad one. Why? Because we work best when we collaborate. Smart producers / creatives are never too proud to borrow a better idea when it's offered. In that sense, we stand as an example to every other working schmuck.

Here's another way...

Most people go to work every day and do stuff that in no way reflects them personally. I'm sure some accountants out there would argue otherwise ("Hey, I know when Dave's touched an audit!"), but really good producers put a stamp on their work. People can just tell that Ron did it - or Sarah. That's a unique gift - you won't get that very many places. Maybe that's why we put up with the masochistic realities of our jobs. Hell, anybody can file! Only a select few can come up with a great sell for a weight-loss story that's been done to death, while fielding a phone call from your doctor to tell you you're hypertensive.

"Well, of course I am, Doc - you're calling me in the middle of an edit!"

What Jesus can teach you about research

Officiant: Christ be with you

Response: And also with you.

Officiant: A reading from the Gospel of Mark. (Chapter 8 - "The Message" Translation)

27Jesus and his disciples headed out for the villages around Caesarea Philippi. As they walked, he asked, "Who do the people say I am?"

28"Some say 'John the Baptizer,'" they said. "Others say 'Elijah.' Still others say 'one of the prophets.'"

29He then asked, "And you—what are you saying about me? Who am I?"

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Does any of this sound familiar? If you're a promotions professional, it should.

Bet you've gone to church your whole life, probably heard this passage, and never realized you were listening to Jesus performing his own market research...

That's right, the Son of God took time to assess his brand. So why don't you? It's the only way to measure your effectiveness. John Wanamaker, the famous department store giant, once said, "Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted. Trouble is, I don't know which half." We live, however, in a much more sophisticated age, where you can get that half down to a much smaller percentage, and it's all done through market research and brand testing.

It's not often you can refer to the Bible for advice on how to promote or build an audience. But considering I am a minister's boy, I guess it's only right I spread some Gospel. (I say this knowing someone reading this considers this blasphemous. That's not my intent - I believe very firmly in the value of the Bible as a collection of life lessons, both personal AND professional. Rather than judge, pray for my soul.)

Mind you, I am not a blind adherer to research. Research has its definite pitfalls. I won't even bother making the arguments against research. Charley Holland did a brilliant job of that here. But the (rampant) problems Charley describes are a matter of bad research design.

Research - done properly - is still useful. If nothing else, it gives you the baseline on what you're doing right and what you're doing wrong; what's cutting through about you and what isn't. In a time of diminishing returns, too many of our businesses have let go of tracking market reactions to their products. But why? A carpenter from Nazareth knew better, but multi-million dollar operations don't?

Notice the simple, yet profound, nature of Jesus' questions... "Who do the people say I am?" When's the last time your organization really asked that question?

Believe it or not, brands can be impaired or run down like any piece of equipment in an overworked factory. They can fizzle out. Worse, they can die. Just because your brand research from 5 years ago says "X" doesn't mean "X" is still relevant.

This is not a time to drop research, or to settle into assumptions about your brand. Now, more than ever, we need to all keep our ears to the rail. We need to spend time data-mining, and analyzing our brands' life cycles. Among the champions of research, promo folks should be the chiefs.

Now, I know that can be tough. Jesus had twelve good buddies in the trenches with him offering up their insights. Most stations, by contrast, have someone who you rarely see, who rarely does anything, and rarely wins any arguments for the value he/she can provide. As a result, these people get treated as little more than industry overhead - there to manage the Nielsen relationship, make some one-sheets for Sales, and quietly await retirement.

It shouldn't be that way, though. We promotions folks should be rattling that person's cage by bringing them interesting questions to data mine answers to. We should extol their worthwhile contributions. And we should actively decry any management that seeks to stifle useful research. If we're ever to find out which half of the advertising dollar is wasted, then the "bean counters" need to appreciate the dollar return that research can bring.

One more point: Notice Jesus flips the question on his inner circle while he's at it. Sometimes the most useful research you can do is internal. It's important to measure external reactions to promotion and your brand. If, however, people don't get the brand from the inside, your efforts could ultimately be self-defeating. It's not helping if you say your organization is community-friendly, but the rank and file think it's okay to funnel viewer complaints to an answering machine, aka the "viewer hotline".

If the people within an organization don't understand and believe in the brand, they will never live up to it or spread the gospel. Jesus got that. That's why, in Matthew's account of this same conversation, Jesus makes a big deal and praises Peter for getting the brand.

That's another key point: Take those people who embody your brand internally and make them your company's superstars. Brands work best, and gain the most traction, when they are embodied consistently. Employees learn to embody the brand when they're offered examples of behavior consistent with that brand. Somewhere in your organization - and sadly, it's usually NOT in management - your brand's living embodiment lurks. Find that person and turn them into a big deal. When others take on similar characteristics, make a big deal out of them, too. The "Gospel of Your Brand" will follow those apostles within and without your organization.

Now, if I could just solidify my thoughts on what Moses can teach you about differentiation....

Parting thought:
"[Christ] would be a national advertiser today, I am sure, as He was a
great advertiser in His own day. He thought of His life as business."
-Bruce Barton, Founder of BDO and author of "The Man Nobody Knows"

The Liability of Charisma

Jim Collins is one of my favorite business writers. His "Good to Great" will be one of the classics of business literature and will become a central part of business study - of that, I am sure.

In "Good to Great", he defines a key concept, "Level 5 Leadership". I won't attempt to explain it here. But, in that discussion, Collins points out an interesting concept I think all of us would do well to learn - the idea that charisma is a liability.

This should make you sit up and pay attention, because in our business we all work with charismatic people, or are lucky enough to be one ourselves (don't bother being modest about it, alright?). While this is usually a good thing - people like charisma, it draws followers and disciples - Collins raises the interesting point that charisma is difficult to challenge. It intimidates, it overcomes, and in business, it stifles.

Think about it - who was the last person who you should've told some unpleasant truth or fact to, but didn't because that person was too powerful a character... You didn't speak truth to power because, somehow, you just couldn't.

Now, think about the number of business leaders who rise to their positions in part because of their smarts and experience, and in part because of their personality. I can think of a few GM's. Maybe a Creative Services Director or two. People who just loomed large.

Putting that person aside, consider instead what fact you didn't share and how important it was or is to your business' health. That person really needed to hear from you, regardless of the script playing out in their head.

Yes, the script playing out in their head - you know, the "I-know-better" attitude, or the "Don't-mess-with-my-public-image" message. One of the dangers of being charismatic is that you can be allowed, by most, to live life according to your script. Think of some of the more charismatic people in business. Iacocca. Welch. Lay. Paley. Some go on to greatness, some go on to infamy - but all live according to their little script.

Which is the danger the rest of us need to deal with. When you think about it, how likely is it that the issue you should've raised didn't get raised because you knew it flipped the script? ... yep, I figured...

So, as you move up and ahead, examine your own script carefully. Don't fall into a place where people don't feel safe telling you what you may very well need to hear. This is one of the key reasons less charismatic (aka, dull) leaders almost always produce better long-term results.

Visit Collins' site for some great resources, including discussion notes (great for lunch with trusted colleagues), and his assessment test for Good versus Great.

It's about f***ing time somebody proved this s**t!

Finally, a good business reason for not censoring yourself around the office.

When did you last get some good advice?

Here's a cool article from the Harvard Biz Review wherein CEO's recall the best advice they ever got. (Note the nice story about advertising legend David Ogilvy.)

Testing Your Organizational Bullshit Level

We all know it when we see it - or smell it... I'm talking about office bullshit. Those words/phrases/commitments that we know are barely worth the air used to speak them, let alone the paper used to disseminate them. As promotional workers, however, bullshit should be near the top of our list of problems to tackle.

"Uh oh, where are you going with this? Aren't we - the promo guys and gals - the purveyors of bullshit?"

If that is so, God help us.

The key to good promotion isn't who can tell the biggest lie, or who can sucker the most people in. Leave that for the hacks that write promos for the nightly entertainment mags... "J. Lo - on camera - kissing another man! What does Marc think?" Hey, Mary Hart! Marc doesn't care, 'cause she's kissing another guy for a movie she's shooting... Marc Anthony can see through your bullshit teases just like the rest of us can, so spare me!

Anyway, where was I? Oh, right...

Our job is not to make up the truth; it's to dig for the sexiest part of the truth and then tease that part of it. Sizzle, not steak - but the steak does have to exist.

If we are looking to tackle bullshit, why don't we start by gauging our perceived bullshit with an exercise I learned from one of my professors. Get a pencil and some scratch paper... Go ahead, I'll wait...

OK, now draw three horizontal lines through the sheet, essentially splitting the page into three equal portions.

Now, in each of the boxes, answer the following questions:

Thinking of your organization, what is

1. Your secret motto for success?
2. The phrase(s) / slogan(s) / mantra(s) that you know is a lie, but travels around the office like a bong at a frat party
3. The unspoken truth about your organization

(These questions are somewhat ambiguous. That's by design. Answer them as you understand them.)

What my professor found in his research is that people tend to answer the first question about themselves - literally "Your secret motto". Most people don't have a clue what the organization's motto is, in most cases. So, what you get is a sense of how people perceive they can build their future.

The 2nd & 3rd questions get answered in view of the office, without fail. Look at the answers you put down. Did you fill the sheet? Did you barely come up with anything? That should tell you something right there. Are you surprised by these answers? That should tell you something else, too. How about you? Have you said these things? Have you perpetuated the bullshit? What does that tell you?

... or how 'bout a game of "Buzzword Bingo"? That'd be a much more fun way to assess the bullshit around you.

Get some trusted colleagues together. Make up some custom "Buzzword Bingo" cards before your next big meeting. It's easy to do. You can make one here.

Once you've set up the cards, print 'em out and then go into your meeting. Listen for those buzzwords - or, in our case, bullshit words - and cross them off, discreetly, of course. To incentivise the players, promise the winner some free coffee. You get the data. Which words came up? How often?

OK, why should anybody care? Here's the thing about bullshit: Audiences can smell it, too. It's easy to separate nicely crafted phrases from ugly unspoken truths. Claim your station is community friendly, but you can't remember the last time your on-air talent engaged with the public? Claim you have the best weather equipment in town, but no one notices any bells and whistles? Talk about how interesting your on-air talent is, but it's clear nobody would willingly share a cup of coffee with them?

Audiences see through the bullshit. It's why we hate when they call and complain about promos that over-promised - 'cause we know they've figured us out.

So how can promotions personnel be positively motivated bullshit detectors - first, for the viewer, and, second, for your organization? (Again, you should know that I see promotions people as perfectly positioned to act as internal consultants and problem solvers. Few people in a station get around like we do. We are every bit the "Connectors" Malcolm Gladwell described in "The Tipping Point". So, I think we can be catalysts for positive change, from bullshit to honest communication in our organizations.)

Let's get this straight: The purpose isn't simply to have the satisfaction of calling bullshit. That can be very satisfying, but occasionally dangerous (read "Beware the Shadow Organization" in our Sept. 2007 archive). The purpose is to get bullshit out of the way to get to some real work.

Bullshit serves a lot of functions for the people who engage in it. These functions include:

- A crutch
- Distraction
- Smokescreen
- Avoidance

None of the aforementioned functions have a place in a healthy organization, however. Healthy organizations deal in facts, making their decisions based on what they know they know, and implementing real solutions. Healthy organizations don't suffer bullshit; they see it for the waste of time and resources it is. (For a better handle on how really extraordinary organizations deal with their environment, you can't do wrong with "Good to Great".)

Bullshit, however, can only be eliminated when people actively and effectively address it. To do that, we need to consider the audience, and tailor messages that work for them (didn't I tell you promo personnel are perfectly suited for this sort of thing?). Again, we have some basic questions to deal with:

- Who's got their B.S. in B.S.? Identify the major culprit(s). Is it a person of influence within the organization? Worse, is it a member of Senior Management? What can you do to steer this person clear of bullshit?

Sometimes you just have to resort to a time-honored trick of mothers - take it away from them. Find proof that refutes the bullshit. Steer management to accepting some new / additional measures of performance. Any tactic that forces a head-on collision with reality will help. (Mind you, this can be the long road. Depending on the person upholding the bullshit, you could find this turns into a test of wills. Facts are facts, but sometimes they can be manipulated. And, when the target sees you're out to take his/her bullshit away, he/she'll probably fight you.)

Depending on your ties to this person, maybe you can do some digging. Is there a way to extract the truth out of this person? Now, this is tricky. People lock themselves into bullshit sometimes for protective reasons. Trying to take it away is like ripping a safety blanket from a child - it has to be done just so or the kid will blow a gasket. But, if you can get to a place of honesty, maybe you can sway this person into believing it's possible to let go of bullshit. (This is the easier road. It lets the perpetrator save face if he/she drops the bullshit on his/her own.)

- Where'd this bullshit come from? Consider the root causes of the bullshit. Is it simply that no one is willing to point it out? Folks, if it's that simple, why wouldn't you be the brave soul? But, if it's more complicated, you need to know. Is it a way to cover up bigger problems? Is it the symptom of an ineffective manager or management team? Depending on how systemic the bullshit is, maybe you just need to know so you can save yourself...

- How do I stop encouraging the bullshit? Bullshit is a cycle. One person offers it, another chooses to accept it. The way to slow the proliferation of bullshit is simple - Don't play party to it. Be respectful, but make it clear that you don't want to be feeding the beast. Push a little harder for truthful selling points in your promotion. Ask more questions. Demand transparency.

The hard part here is the lack of easy rewards. It's easy to give in, fudge the promotion, and enjoy the easy score of ill-gotten ratings. But it's shortsighted. No one's paying you to build an audience for one night.... (Well... If they are, you need to get out of there. Managers who go for the cheap score are the kinds of people who eventually become Jeff Skilling. You don't need to be anywhere near that.) Dare to try harder.

Look, after all this, the ultimate point is that it's not okay to partake in bullshit in your work. That isn't your job as a promotions professional. You've got to find what's special about your organization. Once you've found it, it's on you to tell the world. You're a cheerleader. A noisemaker. A fan. And you GET PAID for it! To cheapen that by allowing bullshit in your work, or in your environment, is to ruin the simple nobility that is available to you in your position. And that's no bullshit....

Wanna know more about bullshit? Try Harry Frankfurt, and Lois Beckwith.